cannonball.

excuse me, do you remember?
because i still do.
every, little, detail.

half way.

On the 28th of March 2009, I noticed something on the sidebar of my desktop, and it got me quite excited. After days and days and days, it finally FINALLY seems to be moving.

More than half way, now. And I am, happy. :)

Besides that, this means that in less than 2 months, I’ll be done here at KYUEM! Done with A-Levels finally! I am still deciding whether or not I will miss it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t wait to get out, sometimes I dread it thinking I’m going to miss everything in college.

Speaking of dread, my first paper is in a month! AAAAH! The horror! 11 papers to sit for (damn the re-sits!), and thank god it is nicely spread out.

Till then, I shall be restricting myself from any form of entertainment like facebook (the devil!), and tv shows (the devil!) and yeah you get my point.

This post is rather shite isn’t it! hahaahahah! woooh! i am hyper right now!

regrets.

quick one. just a little something to get off my chest.

you know sometimes, you do something out of impulse, and after doing it you go, OMG WHAT DID I JUST DOOO!?

and sometimes, you know you have the power to change something, but you don’t do anything until it’s too late already?

so you regret. you regret regret regret.

my mother says there is no point regretting. she says get over it. because there really is no point crying over spilt milk.

but just for today, and tomorrow, and maybe next week, let me regret this.  let me feel sorry for myself and let me whine and moan and grumble over it.

the thing is, after thinking about that one big mistake i start thinking about the other big mistakes i”ve made. and that, makes me emo.

ugh fucking hell.

i know it has been a while now, and everybody has moved on but you. are. my. greatest. regret.

PS: i miss ‘irfan. :( cepat la balik sayang, please?

procrastination.

I am staring at a blank piece of paper. This blank piece of paper is supposed to be my Literature Essay. After staring at this blank piece of paper for a good 15 minutes, I have come to a sudden realisation, that no syira, the thousand word essay will not magically appear before my eyes. And no, if I snap my fingers my pen won’t suddenly start writing the essay without my brain thinking of what to write. And by blogging, I am only wasting time when I really should be writing this essay. Plus another 2 incomplete essays. Which is due before Monday.

coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee. hey notice when you drink coffee, your piss will smell like coffee too!

ps: oh dear, if you could only start living in the present, not the future not the past but the frigging present, everybodys lives would be so much better. and you would find, that you would be much happier. so stop dwelling on the past. what’s done is done. get over it. and piss off.

purple popsicle.

Out of the 98439201857 million trillion things I’ll miss about Malaysia when I’m off to either UK/Australia later this year, I’ll miss this little munchkin the most.

My baby adik, Maryam.

She managed to bribe me with her big eyes and adorable laugh last weekend when she tugged my shirt and went, “Kak Syeeee-yaaaa, nak hash-himmm!” (Kak Syira nak ice-cream). Everytime we go buy ice-cream, she’d choose the same ice-cream, the purple popsicle. Ice-Cream makes Maryam very happy and hyper.

Funny how when both my mom and stepmom gave birth to my little brothers when I was 9, all I wanted and all I could think of was.. “send them back to the hospital please”. I hated the idea of being a big sister. But now, I can’t imagine life without all 4 of my baby siblings.  They are all very different from one another, one the genius computer geek, one the macho boy, one the wonderchild who can do everything and one the adorable munchkin. And as different as they are, all I love with all my heart. All I’ll miss when i’m abroad. Oh no! FedEX them over once a month please!

be my valentine.

Behind the whole ihatetheworldthatiswhyidon’tcombmyhairandlistentodepressingsongs “image”, I am actually a true sucker for Valentine’s Day. The chocolates and the big hugs and the flowers and the love-is-in-the-air aura and the shops decorated with pink hearts and red hearts and the whole shabbang. It makes me nauseatingly giddy and giggly and ugh, I just really like it. Sigh. Don’t you? :D

Yes yes, I know it is just a marketing strategy, damn these companies overprice everything today and gawd so many couples will be out tonight. But despite all that, and also the presents and cards, I think it’s nice. To have one day where you can really truly show the person you love how much you care. And yes, I know I know. If two people are in love, why would they need one day to show the other how much they care, and yes yes you should show affection everyday and everyday should be Valentine’s Day. But ya know what I think. Sometimes you forget to show you care, sometimes you’re too busy to take your lovelove out for a romantic date, sometimes you’re both too busy to sit down and have a decent night out, sometimes people just don’t bother anymore.

To me, Vday is not a day where you HAVETOHAVETO buy chocolates and flowers and write a sonnet to declare your undying love towards your lover. To me, Valentine’s Day is just simply a day where you take the extra time to appreciate your loved ones, show them you care, to tell them you love them, to give them a hug. You don’t have to wear fancy clothes and go out to fancy restaurants. To me it’s all about appreciation.

And here I am appreciating you.

because even though you don’t give a hoot about Valentine’s Day,
you try to give a hoot about it for me.

Aww shucks do you know how much I love you?
Happy Valentine’s Day Irfan.
Let’s hope this one shall be the one and only one apart, mmkay?
I love you. No really, I do.
To the moon to the sun to the stars.
♥

i believe it is time.

and at the end of the day,

aren’t we all just a bunch of emo kids?

 

password.

I’ve never been keen on password protected posts. I mean, if you want to blog, just blog la, why make it a private post if your blog is a public blog? But yeah, now I get that there are some things we don’t want to share with EVERYONE.

So, if you want to kepoh kepoh, or if you can stand icky mushy affection, or if you qualify as one of my lovelies which I’m sure you do all of you aww :) Let me know and I’ll give you the password to the post down there.

But I warn you. It’s an icky mushy post :)

Moving on, everything is fine, I am back from my trip and I shall blog about that soon. Back in college now and that’s never good for me ha ha. But it’s my final semester!! 6 months to go babyyyy, and I am out. Can’t believe it’s been a year and a half already. Feels like it was just last week I called Kelly and got hyper with her saying, “KELLY!!! OMG IT’S YOUR FINAL SEMESTER” and her saying, “OHMYGAWD I KNOW YAY OMG TIME SERIOUSLY FLIES!!”, and now it’s my turn to say that.

And now I am rambling. Oops.

Looking forward (kinda) to this semester though. Especially the end of it. Ha ha. :)

Oh, and results are coming out in 2 weeks!! AAAH!!
Oh, and I miss you.
Oh, ok I go now I go now goodbye.

Protected: private display of affection.

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how now. :(

you’re out now. friday prayers. the only times we’ve spent apart these days are either when we sleep or pee or shit or shower. you’ve only been gone for half an hour. and even though you’re coming back soon, it’s too quiet. way too quiet.

14 days left. counting down doesn’t seem fun anymore.

tell me. how am i supposed to get on a plane and leave you.