you seem to have already moved on. sometimes i’d like to think i have too.

to hell with you.

It’s too cold to take the camera out.

This blog is dead.

I need to re-start it.

But I can’t be bothered.

I want to start taking pictures again.

I want to start over.

I don’t believe in the things I used to believe in anymore.

I need to start over.

Nothing has really sunk in yet. I feel like I’m floating on air most of the time, and the days seem to drag on and on. Maybe I still need some time getting used to all this. Everything is still new to me, this washing my own clothes, making my own bed, cooking my own meals AND cleaning up after. I know I sound like such a brat, but I’ll get used to it.

However what I think needs more time to get used to is the noise, and the other peoples dirty dishes, and the beer cans and bottles everywhere, and the SMELL of beer and liquor everywhere, oh, and the flatmates who come in drunk really late at night. They’re all really nice, but I just need to get used to all of this first.

And it’s so, God damn cold here in York.

All the problems I’m going through now I think KNOW I can handle.. With the exception of one.

I miss my Mom, and my family so so much that I can’t even think about it. Because if I think about tears start welling up and I start breaking down like a little girl. I miss them so much it’s not even funny. Usually I’m away from home alone at most for two weeks, till my mom and everyone else joins me. But it’s been two weeks. And nobody’s coming anytime soon. And and and. :’( Yeah, I just miss them. And instead of feeling better after looking at picture and Skyping with them, it’s the other way around. I feel much worse.

I miss you the most mama. :( Can’t wait to see you in 8 weeks. Okay I can do this it’s only 8 weeks. But then what?

So my plan for this week is to not watch any tv shows at all, and to wake up LATEST by 10 AM every morning. I want to soak in and enjoy everything about my last week left in town. I’m also going to sleep in my momma’s room :p because i’m going to miss her the most when I’m gone. :(

Question : Who is the hottest person on earth?
Answer : Dwight Schrute.
Fact : Dwight K. Schrute.

Rejection just makes you stronger!

Whatever it is, I’m just extra super UNBELIEVABLY thankful that I could go to the UK. Whee! Kelly! We shall be tempat kerja buddies YAY! hahaha.

Anyway, I’m settling everything now. Accommodation done, flight ticket done, all that’s left is Visa, and the dreaded faretheewells.

Other than that, I’ve been watching The Office a lot. Like, A LOT A LOT. And can’t help but think that Dwight is sssssmoking! Haha!

Days left in Tanah Airku Tercinta : 30.

made me realize how much i LOVE my mother, father, stepmother, stepfather, sister, half-brother(s), half-sister(s), step-brother(s), step-sister(s), grandmother(s), grandfather(s), to cut it short, my whole family.

and not to mention my lovely lovelies, the usual bunch :) who tried, but miserably failed to surprise me. :p i loved it anyway. oh my extended family, irshad and nurin, i love you both! and bomby too. :)

was dreading it, turning twenty. well now, i guess it’s not so bad. when you have family and friends behind you all the way, it really is, awesome.

thank you for all the wishes too. :)

ah, twenty, just like nineteen, looks promising.

I shall be eternally grateful.

Now I really hope I meet the requirements for both the scholarship and university. 2 A’s 1B. Seems so hard to achieve based on the papers but at this point, I believe God works in the most mysterious but best ways. InsyaAllah, everything will turn out fine.

We shall know for sure in 52 days then.

On another note, I’ve been surprisingly productive, post-exams. Started working at ThatPlaceThatClaimsToHaveTheBestCoffee for the extra income, and been spending time with loved ones, who are now all back in the country. (PS: Kelly, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!).

It feels good to be productive oh yes it does. :D